So I really haven't updated in absolutely forever! I promise you guys that I am working on that. I honestly wasn't too concerned about it until I had multiple people tell me that have been missing my blogs lately. Sorry guys, this one is for you!
I feel almost like I have been out of touch with the real world for a really long time. For about the past month I have been fairly sick, usually off and on, but frequent enough for me to realize that there is something wrong. So Monday I finally got up the nerve to go to the doctor. For those of you who do not know me, I HATE GOING TO THE DOCTOR! I realize that is absolutely horrible and I'm for sure going to work on that.
WELL. Before deciding to go to the doctor I have been on an emotional and honestly, a spiritual roller coaster. We have all heard it said many times that its easier to trust in God when things are going right then when they aren't going right. Learned this lesson...again, accept this time was different. Lately I have really found a growth in my passion for God's word like I believe we all should. And I noticed that this time, as I have been struggling, the struggles may not have been easier for me, but there was so much more peace in these struggles. [Much of my stress has also come from it being the end of the semester!]
I spent many nights in frustrated tears not knowing where to turn or what to do and let me just tell you GOD NEVER LEFT MY SIDE. Even when I was physically and emotionally in pain, He was always there...holding me in His arms. The night before I went to the doctor I was extremely distraught because I knew that it could be something simple or there could be something more seriously wrong with me than a bad case of the stomach virus. It was difficult for me to face, but the Lord laid a passage on my heart:
Psalm 23
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord FOREVER."
God gives us His word to speak to us in times of sorrow, pain, suffering, and even joy and happiness. After reading this passage, I found that I was praying for the wrong things. I was being selfish. In the garden of Gethsemane Jesus prays to God, "My, Father, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." (Matthew 26:39) I was praying for my own will. For God to use me, but as a perfectly healthy 19 year old girl. I didn't want to go to the doctor and have anything wrong with me, I wanted it to merely be a bad case of the stomach virus. But I didn't take into account how God could use me if something was in fact "wrong" with me. And even when we aren't sick, and things are just not going how we planned them to we get so irritated. I have found so much peace and comfort in asking for peace in God's will instead of pleading with Him to give me mine. [Newsflash: His will is ALWAYS superior, and its wonderful (Jeremiah 29:11)]
Secondly, in sickness there is a lot of the times much fear, and for me there was mainly because of uncertainty. Then I get to verse 4. Even while walking through DEATH I will fear NO evil. Why? Because my God is WITH me? Was/Am I dying? No. But He is still so very faithful and He will never leave my side in my smallest fears. And then finally, regardless of what was going to happen in the doctor's office Monday afternoon...I will dwell in MY FATHER'S house FOREVER. How wonderful and how great!
SO...after getting blood drawn, x-rayed, and passing out I find out that chances are I have a gluten intolerance. So not fun, but I am so very thankful because it could have been so much worse. As I sit here trying to deal with this new food allergy, (I'm already lactose intolerant) I am trying my hardest not to dwell on what I can't eat, but instead find new, tasty things that I enjoy eating. I know its going to take time and going to be very frustrating, but somehow God is going to use this for His glory, and I'm absolutely okay with that.
Everything I have said in today's post applies to every day life, not just when we are sick. When you are having a bad day, or a friend or family member hurts you. It doesn't matter because God is always with us!
On and less serious note, anyone have some recipes? Ideas? I would love to hear from those of you with gluten free tips! :)
"The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever." Isaiah 40:8
So I haven't blogged in a while guys, but I am going to go ahead and warn you about this one. Take a minute and roll your pants up because I'm about to get deep. [For those of you who did not get that...major fail on my part...ignore my corny-ness]
These past few days for me have been pretty rough, to be honest. I won't go into details because the details aren't important to my main thought. I have been thinking for hours about what I'm going to write about in today's blog because I have been determined to blog today due to the fact that I really haven't blogged in at least a week! So I'm sitting in my room, class, etc...and I have absolutely nothing. Then after class today I went home, sat in my bed, and turned on the radio..KLove to be exact. Now normally I do not listen to the radio. I find it to be repetitive. Today was different.
Because of some stress and things currently going on in my life I have been searching for answers. What do I do? How do I react? Who do I put in my company? Just normal life stresses that always seem to come upon as all at once! Funny how that happens, right?! Well for some reason I felt the need to listen to the radio. As soon as I turn it on, I had my answer...my peace. (Don't worry, I will post a link to the song!)
I'm going to take the song verse by verse so to keep myself from rambling and going completely off track.
Cry To Jesus - Chris Rice
"Weak and wounded sinner
Lost and left to die
O, raise your head, for love is passing by
Come to Jesus, Come to Jesus
Come to Jesus and live!"
First off...wow! What an awesome God! Sometimes in life, things, for lack of a better phrase, they just suck. Things do not happen the way we want them to and we are left in pain. We feel alone. We feel lost. But in these times, so often we miss the beauty of God's love for us! We forget that we are never alone and God will always be there to pick us up and clean away our dirt and wash our wounds. We can't avoid wounds, but we can take off with reckless abandon towards the God who loves us unconditionally and LIVE in peace and absolute happiness regardless of the situation. God is so good.
"Now you're burden's lifted
and carried far away
and precious blood has washed away the stain, so
Sing to Jesus, Sing to Jesus
Sing to Jesus and live!"
I know that I have a massive load of burdens. But my God, OUR God gladly takes those burdens and places them on His shoulders. He takes the deepest hurts and the hardest worries and carries them away. Take the offer! Lay them down! Let Hims wash you clean! Its such a beautiful and wonderful thing...something to sing about! How beautiful is His compassion!
"And like a newborn baby
Don't be afraid to crawl
And remember when we walk
Sometimes we fall...so
Fall on Jesus, Fall on Jesus
Fall on Jesus and live!"
Speechless. How many times do we miss out on some of life greatest gifts because we are scared of pain and hurt and even rejection? Put yourself out there and life your life fully in God's will and purpose. He has such beautiful things planned for you! "For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being caught." Proverbs 3:26. He will NEVER drop you and let you fall. Fall into His arms and live in Him!
"Sometimes the way is lonely
And steep and filled with pain
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then
Cry to Jesus, Cry to Jesus
Cry to Jesus and live!"
It isn't always going to be sunshine and roses, guys! Life is not easy, but I can promise you that my God, OUR God makes it so much more bearable. He listens to our cries, He sees every single tear that we cry, He hears our calls. There will be times when we are lonely and it seems like everything just hurts. Cry to YOUR Jesus! He will be the best comfort you will ever have. He will calm your soul and hold you with loving arms. How great is His love!
"O, and when the love spills over
And music fills the night
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then
Dance for Jesus, Dance for Jesus
Dance for Jesus and live!"
It's so easy to run to God when things go wrong, when we feel helpless and alone. But how often when things are going wonderfully do we turn around and praise Him? After all, is He not creator of all things bad AND good? Praise God for the wonderful things in my life! He has truly blessed me with them! May we all give him the praise, honor, and glory even when things are great!
"And with your final heartbeat
Kiss the world goodbye
Then go in peace and laugh on Glory's side, and
Fly to Jesus, Fly to Jesus
Fly to Jesus and live!"
IT DOESN'T END HERE! My God is ALIVE! Death is such a scary thing, but when that time comes, I hope to welcome it with open arms because I finally get to be in the presence of my FATHER, my God. This world has nothing for us...but OUR God has everything. Just trust in Him... "If any man should come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me." Luke 9:23. Follow Him. He loves you more than you could ever imagine.
How great is OUR God!
