Loving Perspective

Some of you may not know this about me, but sunglasses are my vice.  I love them. When I was in high school I had a bucket of sunglasses...there were probably about 15 pair inside.  They really are the perfect accessory!  Well, over the years they have dwindled and I have rediscovered my love for snazzy shades.  Pictured are my new ones, and the best part is that the lenses are shaped like hearts!  I mean really, how can you have a bad day with these bad boys on your face?!  Anyways, I spend a fair amount of time driving in my car considering I live about 25 minutes outside of town and I'm having to go back and forth to Jackson now almost regularly for parties and showers for my upcoming May wedding.

Over the past week or so I have heard the same song on the radio what feels like 5000 times!  I listen to K-LOVE every day pretty much constantly so when this happens I can't help but take it as a sign from my sweet Daddy upstairs.  What song?  Let Them See You by the JJ Weeks Band.  As some of you may know, the D.J.s on this radio station sometimes will give you a background on why the song was written and what it really means.  I love this song.  Absolutely everything about it.  The artist wrote this song as a personal prayer for every time he performs...but can't we all apply this to what we individually do every day?  His main prayer is for everyone he reaches with his music and his life to see God, hear God, and know God's love through his every action.  WOW what a prayer.  I want those around me to see my Father in every single thing that I do.  I want them to feel His love.  I want them to see His grace.  I don't want them to see ME, because I am nothing without Christ and if it is me that they see, then I don't have Christ living in me...in my heart.  

I was irritated and tired earlier this week and I just couldn't stop being negative and complaining and Zack pulled me aside and reminded me that "our forgiveness and love is what shows others the true nature of our hearts."  First of all, could I be any luckier to have a man who isn't afraid to set me straight and who is strong enough to lead me in my Father's ways when I'm falling a little behind?  Ladies, don't get offended if a guy ever holds you accountable or points out something that you are doing that doesn't give Christ the glory.  That my friends is a real man and those are the men all the single ladies should be waiting for.  Men, lead your ladies.  Period. 

With Zack saying what he said to me and that song coming on the radio pretty much every time I got in the car, I thought about my life and what I can do to let Daddy shine through.  So today as I'm riding down the road with my sunglasses promptly on my nose, I had a thought...kinda silly, but a thought nonetheless.  "I get to look through happy hearts every day with these sunglasses!  How can you not be happy when you're looking through these things?!"  While I thoroughly amused myself, I also reminded myself that abiding in Christ is kind of like wearing my happy heart glasses!  How can I not be happy when I look through these eyes and see what all my God has made with His very hands, when I see all of the blessings I have received, when I feel the love that surrounds me, when I feel His comfort in my times of pain and need.  

How can I not be happy?!

And furthermore, how can I not radiate and share that happiness!?  Why should I keep it to myself?  So my prayer for today and every day is for my Father to let all of those around me to see Him in everything I do, hear Him in every word I speak, and feel Him through the love that I give. May I remember that His grace IS enough and that is truly all I need.  May everything beyond that be counted as a blessing which I am so very thankful for.

"This is the day that the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it!"

Psalm 118:24

A Broken World

Today my heart broke.

No worries, Zack and I are still getting married.  He didn't break my heart, the brokenness in this world broke my heart.  For years one of my regular prayers has been, "Lord break my heart for what breaks yours."  This is in fact a prayer that He has answered on numerous occasions.  I find my heart breaking for the lost dog on the side of the road; for the child in my classroom who I know goes home to a loveless building; for those in other parts of the world who don't even know their Heavenly Father's name.  Today my heart broke for those I see walking around my campus filled with hate.

I remember growing up, my parents always told me not to use the word hate because it was a very powerful.  I never understood that statement until recently.  I can honestly say that there is nothing or no one that I hate in this world.  There have been circumstances in my life that have been extremely painful which were brought upon me by myself and individuals who did use hate.  But I can't hate them.  I hurt for the hateful.  I have realized that to hate something or someone is to wish the absolute worst onto it/them.  Where there is hate, there is no good...just as where there is darkness there can be no light.  For those I know and don't know that have hate in their hearts, my heart is broken and I cry and pray. 

During my time here at Ole Miss there have been a number of "hate crimes."  People who have meant no harm have been hurt by hate either physically, emotionally, or spiritually.  One of the most recent events was the defacing of the James Meredith statue on our campus.  Three individuals chose to project their hatred on a symbol and a person who embodies the very essence of forgiveness, strength, and courage.  James Meredith, even for me, symbolizes hope and the promise of a bright future.  Someone chose to deface that.  It breaks my heart.  This is not what this post is about however.

What I witnessed today was a group of people not committing a crime, but a group of people living in a very dark world.  There are days when I get angry and I don't want to do what I am supposed to.  There are days where I dislike situations and even find myself disliking people.  That is wrong of me, but I am being honest.  However, there is never a day where I am full of hate.  Hate for others, hate for authority, hate for even myself.  That is what I saw today.

As I was sitting and helping Zack with a written assignment (I'm the writer in the pair), a young woman walked past me to her normal area where her and her friends usually sit.  She was obviously upset about something and I wish I could un-hear everything I heard.  She stated, "I --- hate her.  I wish someone would violently rape her."  It took everything for me not to say something as I wiped away a tear.  How could someone wish something so terrible on someone they probably don't even know?  There is no excuse for that sort of hatred.  I would say I was curious so I continued to listen, but I was pretty much forced to since her and her "friends" practically imposed their conversations on those of us surrounding them.  I was in shock.  This group of people had nothing kind to say...out of the 15 minutes I was sitting there, they were degrading each other, using the foulest of language, and being so incredibly vulgar and inappropriate that I couldn't stand it anymore and decided to relocate.

But it really hit me.  There are people in our very city, neighborhood, and schools who are hurting.  My dad always told me that hurting people hurt people.  They were hurting each other...those they called their friends and it was okay...it was normal!  That is the problem with our world!  We don't care who we hurt...we let selfishness and hate take over and say (forgive me), "to hell with anyone who gets in our way!"  WHY??  I do wish I had said something...I wish I could have.  I alone did not have the courage or strength to say anything.  Who knows what would have happened.  From what I could tell confrontation was going to get me no where with this group.  However, I can still pray for them.  I do not know their names, and some of them I don't even know their faces.  But I do know that our Father created them and loves them all the same.  And we should too...not just them, but all of those around us.

So I pray that He comes and through us will build His kingdom here.  Let the light within us, his Holy Spirit, shine so bright and chase away the darkness of this world.  We cannot do it alone, but together and with Christ as our anchor, we can most definitely change the world.

Let this be our prayer:  Build Your Kingdom Here by Rend Collective

Going to the Chapel...Well Not Exactly

Oh the engaged life.  Needless to say...it's a trip.
People ask you a thousand questions, you make a thousand more phone calls, and make even more decisions. What color dresses? What flavor cake? Who do you invite? Heels? Flats? Long veil? No veil?
Can anyone blame a bride for being exhausted?!

However, there is one question I've gotten asked that will get more of an answer than, "guess you'll have to wait and see!"  Zack and I have decided to take an untraditional route and get married in the grove here at Ole Miss. If you've ever been to our campus during the spring time you know exactly why someone might. It's not your typical Saturday covered in tents kind of grove. It's a peaceful place of pure beauty. A place that makes me feel at home 200 miles away. One of the questions we have gotten is "Why not in a church, why on a Sunday?" I guess that's 2 questions...doesn't matter.

Here is my answer. I just recently figured it out, by the way. :)

Let's tackle the Sunday part first.  For Zack and I, marriage is not just a must do because you're in love or it's the next step kind of thing. It was created by God, for God. Our sole purpose is to use our relationship to to push each other towards our Heavenly Father and for us, as two becoming one, to bring Him the utmost glory. We want our marriage to be completely centered and focused on Him. We pray that our ceremony will be seen as what it is, a simple act of worship. (My parents would probably laugh at the use of the word simple here!) Now by all means if you get married on a Saturday I am in no way saying you are bringing God less glory.  A Saturday wedding just isn't our style. It's not how we envision it. It is our act of worship and everyone has their own way of worshipping.

Now for the non-traditional setting. Yes we are members of a church here in Oxford. It's actually our rain plan. But it's not where my heart wants to be on May 18, 2014. Church is not defined by the walls in which our worshipping is held. Plain and simple. Church is the body of Christ coming together to praise the One who gives us life. For me I feel closet to God, not in Church, but in the midst of His very creation. On my wedding day I want to be in a place where I feel the most connected to His love and mercy. He takes my breath away every time I step outside. I'm overwhelmed with His presence and in complete awe when I see the world around me. On the day that I make my vows to Zack and we make our covenant with God, I want to be immersed in His creation while surrounded by the love of all of those who have encouraged, prayed, and loved us through the beginning of our life long journey. That's why we, or I at least, chose the grove.

The other day I stood in the very spot where I will say "I do," "I will," and "I love you more than I love myself." I will not only be making a promise to Zack but a promise to God saying that I will love both of them with everything I have.  With Zack I will serve the One true God until my last breath.  I was overcome with joy, peace, hope, and excitement.  I was humbled by the thought that just over 24 years ago God sent to this Earth a man made especially for me. Someone who I can glorify my Father with.