Dry Bones

I hope all of you readers are having a GREAT day today!  "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us REJOICE and be glad in it!!" For this post, I really encourage you to listen to this song and not just read the lyrics.  It's incredible.  So listen to this song, click the link, reflect on the lyrics and THEN read what I have to say?  :)  If you really want to skip the song you can, but I think you're missing out on something awesome!

Awake My Soul - Chris Tomlin ft. Lecrae

(Click Here to Listen)

Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me
Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me
I come alive, I’m alive when you breathe on me
I come alive, I’m alive when you breathe on me

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul

Speak to me, word of God, speak to me
Speak to me, word of God, speak to me
I come alive, I’m alive when you speak to me
I come alive, I’m alive when you speak to me

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul

 Then He said to me,
“Prophesy to these bones and say to them,
Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!
This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones,
I will make breath into you,
And you will come to life.”
So I prophesied as I was commanded.
As I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound,
And the bones came together, bone to bone.
And I looked, and tendons and the flesh appeared on them,
And skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.
Then He said to me,
Prophesy to the breath,
Prophesy, son of man, and say to it,
Come from four winds, oh breath, and BREATHE.

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul

Awake, awake, awake my soul,
God resurrect these bones
From death to life, for you alone
Awake my soul

Yeah, I’m not alone, I realize
I breathe out, I come alive
Your word gives life to my dry bones
Your breath tells death it can ride on
Awake me, make me a living stone,
A testament to your throne, I
I’m nothing without you, I’m on my own
The only one who satisfies my soul

Every single time that I hear this song, I am so incredibly moved by the Holy Spirit.  I choose to listen to it every day as a reminder of who I am and what God has done for me.  His very breath of LIFE lives in me!! What a privilege, what an honor!  This song comes from one of my favorite passages in scripture where the prophet Ezekial is walking through a valley of dry bones.  If you haven't read it, part of it is in the lyrics above!  But the whole story is located in Ezekial 37: 1-14.  

This song honestly brings me to tears whenever I hear it.  Never tears of sadness, but tears of sheer awe and amazement.  Whenever I hear the scripture being read by Lecrae my heart is overwhelmed with such joy and happiness and the reason I wanted you all to listen to it, read it.  When things move me like this, I cannot keep quiet about it!  How amazing is it that we serve a God who is so great and so powerful that he can resurrect broken, dry, and dead bones and bring them to LIFE?! It absolutely blows my mind.  He give us life...he give us breath to breath....Why do I listen to it every day?  Because my prayer every day for myself and everyone is that he will awake MY soul so much that I never become stagnant and dull to His awesome power and glory!

And the BEST part is that with His breath in us, DEATH is defeated and cannot win.  

HOW GREAT IS OUR GOD!

And as my family would say when nothing else can be said about that "#BOOM"

Need You Now

I'm starting this post out with a "funny."  Alright, picture this... You're driving down the road on the way to work, school, whatever and you stop at a red light.  You look in your rear-view mirror and you notice the person behind you actin' a fool.  They are singing their heart out, they got their fist in the air, banging on the steering wheel...Maybe they are so into it that there are a few tears.  THAT'S ME!  Well, I've been told by numerous people that they saw me doing this...EMBARRASSING!  Oh well.  Here is why that story was any kind of relevant.  The song I have posted below is one of those for me.  This time I'm going to let you read the lyrics and/or listen to it BEFORE I give you my two cents about it!

How Many Times (Need You Now) - Plumb

(Click Here to listen)

Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
'Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take
How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
I need you now

I know that in my last post, I talked about my panic attacks and dealing with those.  I may or may not have mentioned that sometimes they make me physically ill.  Regardless, the panic attacks and overwhelming anxiety are really hard to deal with on a day to day basis.  Its a process.  Its a learning experience, just like my food allergies are.  I have come to the realization that maybe this is my new "normal."  

When I wake up in the morning and I'm queasy for 60% of the day or I'm tired and I don't feel like I can even get out of bed...maybe that is just how my days are going to be.  Am I perfectly okay with that? Not yet, BUT I'm getting there.  When I just don't think I can take it anymore, I think about the words in this song.  How many days does God truly give me the strength to keep breathing, keep moving?  How many times does He give me JUST ENOUGH.  I can't tell you how many times I have prayed, "God PLEASE make me normal...please make me like everyone else...take THIS cup from me."  

Here's a thought:  In the Garden of Gethsemane, Christ called out to God, "Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will."  Long shot here, but WHAT IF God had said "Ok Son.  If you really don't want to then I guess I could just let it pass over you."  Do you think Christ in His human form was looking forward to and enjoying dying on that cross?  It was considered cursed to die that sort of death.  It was the worst kind of death you could die.  But He did it.  He died.  He suffered.  HOWEVER, He ROSE again on the third day.

So instead of sitting here and pouting because I have a measly stomach ache...I could say wow...I deserve death and the worst of the worst, BUT Christ took that for ME.  Now I GET to have a stomach ache.  (I'm not saying its a punishment, I'm saying its part of life.)  If this is the worst that I have to go through in Christ's name, may I rejoice in every bit of that specific suffering.  Is is enjoyable, no, but it could always be worse.  God woke me up this morning.  Do I feel 100%, not at all...but I'm alive.  I'm breathing.  I have a family that isn't broken who loves me.  I'm in a country where I can worship my God freely.  I have a man in my life who loves Christ and shows it in how he cares for me.  I have a roof over my head and food in my cabinet.  PERSPECTIVE. 

I felt like this whole post was a ramble...maybe it will make sense.  If it doesn't then here is my point in one/two/more sentence(s):

Instead of begging and begging for things to go our way, let's accept our circumstances and realize that He is in control and He knows what is best and what we need when we need it. Embrace it.  Praise Him through it. We need Him. There is a reason that you are where you are and you are going through or have gone through what you are going through.  Good or bad.  He loves you and is taking every single step with you.

Carry Me

I've been working on today's post for quite a while now.  It's one of those moments when you are weak and you're battling with what others might think when you show that you don't have it together as much of the time as you would like them to think you do.  But aren't we all like that?  (If I'm the only one then man I feel silly.)  

Anyways, I feel like the things in our life that test us and show our weaknesses are the very things that God uses to bring himself glory.  Just imagine that if every time you were tempted, struggling, hurting, etc...you pointed back at him and said MY JESUS STILL LIVES.  He gives me STRENGTH to face this.  His POWER is made PERFECT in MY weakness.  Can you imagine the impact that would make?  The inspiration we would all be to fellow believers?  The encouragement and example we would be to non-believers?  HELLO PEOPLE!!! This is FOR REAL!

Yeah...I'm only just a little excited about this post. ;)

My main point and the thoughts that go along with it start....NOW!

Ever since I was little, since I can remember to be honest, I have dealt with anxiety.  Its one of those things that you just take one step at a time.  When I was little it came and went, and eventually, it went away for quite a while.  Every now and then I would get a little anxious about something but it was never really anything that bothered me much.  Recently, however, with the change in my schedule and surroundings, the anxiety came back.  And it didn't just slowly creep into my life...it attacked.  

I would all of a sudden loose my breath and get really hot.  My mouth got really dry and my heart started beating really fast.  My chest hurt and I felt like I was going to throw up everywhere!  What was happening?!  I honestly thought something serious was wrong and I was having a heart attack or something.  Luckily, Zack had been studying anxiety in some of his cases and knew EXACTLY what was happening.  Then later, after talking to my dad, I knew for sure how to deal with it (he gives GREAT pointers, just like he did when I was little :))  A panic/anxiety attack?  If you've never had one...it truly is terrifying.

Weeks have gone by and they have gotten a little better.  The thing that has helped me the most is realizing that I'm not alone and that I'm stronger than these little things that get to me.  I honestly can't tell you how INCREDIBLY thankful I am for my parents, sisters, friends, and Zack.  They've been so encouraging and helpful and patient with me.

One day I was in the car listening to K-Love when a song I've heard a million times came on the radio and I sang along, not really thinking about the words.  After the song, they had an interview with the artist and something grabbed my attention...did he say panic attack?!  So I turned up the radio and listened.  This song was everything I had been feeling, everything that was happening to ME!  What an encouragement!  God used THAT song in that moment from someone just writing about HIS experiences to SPEAK to ME!  Anyone else find that to be amazing??  If you haven't heard the song, I have posted the lyrics and a link to it below.  Listen to it.  Even if you don't have panic attacks, I know that we all feel like this every now and then.  God has us in His arms...and He carries us EVERY step of the way.

Carry Me - Josh Wilson

(Click here to listen)

I try to catch my breath
It hasn't happened yet
I'm wide awake in the middle of the night scared to death
So I prayed God, would You make this stop
Father please hold on to me, You're all I've got
Carry me, carry me, carry me now
From my sinking sand to Your solid ground
The only way I'm ever gonna make it out
Is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now
God carry me, carry me, carry me now
Jesus calm my heart
Come near me please
Lord don't let these worries get the best of me
Oh I believe, that You're still here with me
Cause You meant what You said when You said You'd never leave
Carry me, carry me, carry me now
From my sinking sand to Your solid ground
The only way I'm ever gonna make it out
Is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now
God carry me, carry me, carry me now
Carry me
God carry me
Carry me
God carry me
I'm at the end of myself
I know I've got nothing left
Feels like I'm stuck in the valley of the shadow of death
And I've been down here so long
I just can't find my way out
Oh God I don't stand a chance
Unless You carry me now
God carry me now
Carry me, carry me, carry me now
From my sinking sand to Your solid ground
The only way I'm ever gonna make it out
Is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now
God carry me, carry me, carry me now
Carry me now
Carry me now
Carry me now
Carry me now

Bring the Rain

I'm finally back to blogging again!  Its crazy how busy I have been lately, but now I'm forcing myself to sit down and write what's going through my mind right now...I forgot how much better I feel after blogging. Here it goes...

For the past few weeks, the church that I am a member of has been having a revival that I have managed to make it to every night.  Walking into this I was wary because I wasn't quite sure what would be said and how this would go, but I decided that I should open my heart to what God might have to say to me.  All I can say is, what a transformation I have felt and seen in my own heart.  Throughout the past few weeks many topics were discussed and there was one that really hit home for me.

"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which god has promised to those who love him."

James 1:12

Suffering.

It is literally everywhere in the Bible. Of course this makes sense because we all suffer in our own ways on a daily basis and Christ suffered to the point of a death on a cross.  There is a verse in 1 Peter that says, 

"In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials so that the tested genuineness of your faith - more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire - may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." 

1 Peter 1:6,7

In other words, our suffering is more precious than gold...one of the most prized material things in our world.  Wait what? Suffering? Precious? I know, I thought it was crazy for a second too.  But then I really got to studying and here are some of the verses that really stuck with me.

"..that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead."

Philippians 3:10

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

2 Corinthians 12:9,10

On that note, how great is our God?! Even in the most terrible times...he loves us and has the most perfect and beautiful plan that comes FROM that pain.  So instead of grumbling and complaining about every little thing (Philippians 2:14,15) why don't we praise Him REGARDLESS.  He died one of the most torturous deaths so that we can be forgiven, blameless, holy, eternal beings...what could happen to us that could possible match up to His ultimate sacrifice.  So let us find joy in EVERY situation because he has us where we are for a reason.  Praise him and thank him for every pain, every hurt, every illness...because through all of that HE IS GOOD.

I think it terms of song, so here is a song that really painted this picture for me...listen to it and read these lyrics...really think about what they are saying...I'm very glad that I did.

Bring the Rain - Mercy Me

(Click here to listen)

"I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray
Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty"