Carry Me

I've been working on today's post for quite a while now.  It's one of those moments when you are weak and you're battling with what others might think when you show that you don't have it together as much of the time as you would like them to think you do.  But aren't we all like that?  (If I'm the only one then man I feel silly.)  

Anyways, I feel like the things in our life that test us and show our weaknesses are the very things that God uses to bring himself glory.  Just imagine that if every time you were tempted, struggling, hurting, etc...you pointed back at him and said MY JESUS STILL LIVES.  He gives me STRENGTH to face this.  His POWER is made PERFECT in MY weakness.  Can you imagine the impact that would make?  The inspiration we would all be to fellow believers?  The encouragement and example we would be to non-believers?  HELLO PEOPLE!!! This is FOR REAL!

Yeah...I'm only just a little excited about this post. ;)

My main point and the thoughts that go along with it start....NOW!

Ever since I was little, since I can remember to be honest, I have dealt with anxiety.  Its one of those things that you just take one step at a time.  When I was little it came and went, and eventually, it went away for quite a while.  Every now and then I would get a little anxious about something but it was never really anything that bothered me much.  Recently, however, with the change in my schedule and surroundings, the anxiety came back.  And it didn't just slowly creep into my life...it attacked.  

I would all of a sudden loose my breath and get really hot.  My mouth got really dry and my heart started beating really fast.  My chest hurt and I felt like I was going to throw up everywhere!  What was happening?!  I honestly thought something serious was wrong and I was having a heart attack or something.  Luckily, Zack had been studying anxiety in some of his cases and knew EXACTLY what was happening.  Then later, after talking to my dad, I knew for sure how to deal with it (he gives GREAT pointers, just like he did when I was little :))  A panic/anxiety attack?  If you've never had one...it truly is terrifying.

Weeks have gone by and they have gotten a little better.  The thing that has helped me the most is realizing that I'm not alone and that I'm stronger than these little things that get to me.  I honestly can't tell you how INCREDIBLY thankful I am for my parents, sisters, friends, and Zack.  They've been so encouraging and helpful and patient with me.

One day I was in the car listening to K-Love when a song I've heard a million times came on the radio and I sang along, not really thinking about the words.  After the song, they had an interview with the artist and something grabbed my attention...did he say panic attack?!  So I turned up the radio and listened.  This song was everything I had been feeling, everything that was happening to ME!  What an encouragement!  God used THAT song in that moment from someone just writing about HIS experiences to SPEAK to ME!  Anyone else find that to be amazing??  If you haven't heard the song, I have posted the lyrics and a link to it below.  Listen to it.  Even if you don't have panic attacks, I know that we all feel like this every now and then.  God has us in His arms...and He carries us EVERY step of the way.

Carry Me - Josh Wilson

(Click here to listen)

I try to catch my breath
It hasn't happened yet
I'm wide awake in the middle of the night scared to death
So I prayed God, would You make this stop
Father please hold on to me, You're all I've got
Carry me, carry me, carry me now
From my sinking sand to Your solid ground
The only way I'm ever gonna make it out
Is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now
God carry me, carry me, carry me now
Jesus calm my heart
Come near me please
Lord don't let these worries get the best of me
Oh I believe, that You're still here with me
Cause You meant what You said when You said You'd never leave
Carry me, carry me, carry me now
From my sinking sand to Your solid ground
The only way I'm ever gonna make it out
Is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now
God carry me, carry me, carry me now
Carry me
God carry me
Carry me
God carry me
I'm at the end of myself
I know I've got nothing left
Feels like I'm stuck in the valley of the shadow of death
And I've been down here so long
I just can't find my way out
Oh God I don't stand a chance
Unless You carry me now
God carry me now
Carry me, carry me, carry me now
From my sinking sand to Your solid ground
The only way I'm ever gonna make it out
Is if You carry me, carry me, carry me now
God carry me, carry me, carry me now
Carry me now
Carry me now
Carry me now
Carry me now