Need You Now

I'm starting this post out with a "funny."  Alright, picture this... You're driving down the road on the way to work, school, whatever and you stop at a red light.  You look in your rear-view mirror and you notice the person behind you actin' a fool.  They are singing their heart out, they got their fist in the air, banging on the steering wheel...Maybe they are so into it that there are a few tears.  THAT'S ME!  Well, I've been told by numerous people that they saw me doing this...EMBARRASSING!  Oh well.  Here is why that story was any kind of relevant.  The song I have posted below is one of those for me.  This time I'm going to let you read the lyrics and/or listen to it BEFORE I give you my two cents about it!

How Many Times (Need You Now) - Plumb

(Click Here to listen)

Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
'Cause oh, I get so tired of holding on
I can't let go, I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay, please stay right beside me
With every single step I take
How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
I need you now

I know that in my last post, I talked about my panic attacks and dealing with those.  I may or may not have mentioned that sometimes they make me physically ill.  Regardless, the panic attacks and overwhelming anxiety are really hard to deal with on a day to day basis.  Its a process.  Its a learning experience, just like my food allergies are.  I have come to the realization that maybe this is my new "normal."  

When I wake up in the morning and I'm queasy for 60% of the day or I'm tired and I don't feel like I can even get out of bed...maybe that is just how my days are going to be.  Am I perfectly okay with that? Not yet, BUT I'm getting there.  When I just don't think I can take it anymore, I think about the words in this song.  How many days does God truly give me the strength to keep breathing, keep moving?  How many times does He give me JUST ENOUGH.  I can't tell you how many times I have prayed, "God PLEASE make me normal...please make me like everyone else...take THIS cup from me."  

Here's a thought:  In the Garden of Gethsemane, Christ called out to God, "Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will."  Long shot here, but WHAT IF God had said "Ok Son.  If you really don't want to then I guess I could just let it pass over you."  Do you think Christ in His human form was looking forward to and enjoying dying on that cross?  It was considered cursed to die that sort of death.  It was the worst kind of death you could die.  But He did it.  He died.  He suffered.  HOWEVER, He ROSE again on the third day.

So instead of sitting here and pouting because I have a measly stomach ache...I could say wow...I deserve death and the worst of the worst, BUT Christ took that for ME.  Now I GET to have a stomach ache.  (I'm not saying its a punishment, I'm saying its part of life.)  If this is the worst that I have to go through in Christ's name, may I rejoice in every bit of that specific suffering.  Is is enjoyable, no, but it could always be worse.  God woke me up this morning.  Do I feel 100%, not at all...but I'm alive.  I'm breathing.  I have a family that isn't broken who loves me.  I'm in a country where I can worship my God freely.  I have a man in my life who loves Christ and shows it in how he cares for me.  I have a roof over my head and food in my cabinet.  PERSPECTIVE. 

I felt like this whole post was a ramble...maybe it will make sense.  If it doesn't then here is my point in one/two/more sentence(s):

Instead of begging and begging for things to go our way, let's accept our circumstances and realize that He is in control and He knows what is best and what we need when we need it. Embrace it.  Praise Him through it. We need Him. There is a reason that you are where you are and you are going through or have gone through what you are going through.  Good or bad.  He loves you and is taking every single step with you.